Perhaps you don’t hang out in the same shadowy corners of the interwebs that I do. Perhaps you have not yet encountered the phenomenon that is Princess Tomato and the Salad Kingdom, and it’s breakout star, Percy the Persimmon.

If not, you may feel compelled to keep surfing, and I can’t say I blame you. This is probably not the pattern for you. Go on your merry way, and we will never speak of this again. However, if you do lurk the same corners of the tubes, or maybe just have a soft spot for obscure D-list 8-bit characters and anthropomorphic vegetable matter, then come on in, the water’s fine.