Ducks are adorable. Ducks seem friendly to people. Ducks are lying.

Make a pair of duck dick earrings, as shown, or attach one to an ducky toy for anatomical accuracy.

This would be great for scraps of yarn - it’s either duck penis or boring old hyperbolic crochet. Your choice.

Yes, this is my pattern – I wrote it and took the pictures. It is also a free pattern and I live in the US. You can do whatever you want with this pattern (throw it in a database, force an AI to learn about it, sell duck dick earrings on Etsy). Put duck dicks everywhere you want – I don’t care, and I couldn’t stop you even if I wanted. Just ask permission before sewing a duck dick onto random childrens toys, though – the owners of the toys might be opposed.

This is a free pattern. You get what you pay for. My pattern support is limited to “I made this pattern and put it up for free for your enjoyment/horror.”