This pattern is based on the freeform exhibition shawl I have created for the “Behind The Smile” exhibition which highlights the effects of hidden illnesses.

The original shawl remains a unique piece, but I have written this pattern based on its construction.

The yarns I originally used differed in meterage within themselves, as it was the colour combinations I was seeking for my concept.
Therefore to make the pattern easy to work and to source yarns for, I have written the pattern using skeins of equal length.

Its worked holding two different skeins of yarn together that have been divided into different weight balls to blend in and out with.

If you wish to use the yarns and colours I originally used, then they are listed at the end of the pattern with some of the original photographs.

This is my written concept that accompanies the design…
“The menace of depression has infinite causes and related medical symptoms.
Taking a silent hold on a wealth of souls, breaking their spirit and being, whilst the mind looks for light and escape from its grasp.
Its hidden silence leads to misunderstanding, ignorance, and lack of acceptance of the reality felt and many are left empty and alone within themselves.
Mental health needs to be heard, to be acknowledged, to have the reality clarified, to be accepted, and the sufferers given a hand to hold, to pull them back to the surface where they deserve to be.
It isn’t just the feeling of having had a bad day.
This shawl depicts the levels of darkness of depression, the tunnel of colour that many slide or fall into, and more importantly the shades of light that help guide and pull them upwards.
The reminder that this hidden illness can quickly, unexpectedly and silently return is shown by the presence of the darkness once again in the finishing tail of the shawl.
Its shape is irregular and was designed in a free form way, also to highlight that mental illness is not regular in its taking or being.
Its size is replicated in an enveloping hug, much needed both in times of darkness and light.”