Wanna call someone a lazy dumbass at work? Start a written response with, “Per my last email…” This is a low-key way to make sure your coworker knows exactly where they stand. I created this pattern with my husband in mind. We were laughing one day about how this seemingly harmless phrase is basically the corporate way of saying you’re a few cards short of a full deck. Not the sharpest tool in the shed. Your light’s on but nobody’s home. Their elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top. You get the idea. Anyhoo, whether you’ve been on the giving or receiving end of this phrase, this one’s for you! And if you’ve been working long enough to know it’s not the best way to start an email, just casually place this in the background of your next Zoom call. They’ll get the idea.

Pattern Chart will be used to complete FRONT of pillow.

For easier counting, stitch-by-stitch instructions are included to follow along the Pattern Chart
W sc = sc using WHITE yarn
N sc = sc using NAVY yarn