I realize that people make human AU Pearl young and stuff b/c it’s more relatable but please consider with me that human Pearl would be the weird ex-military neighbor who wakes up at 5 am every morning and calls the cops if the recycling truck leaves the bin in front of her mailbox and keeps to herself a lot and breaks out a leaf blower half the size of her body to sweep 6 maple seedpods of her front sidewalk. She’s got Rose’s flag hanging on one of those brackets on the porch. Every week or so her son comes over for dinner and promises the neighbor kids that his mom’s super nice if you get to know her she just likes everything just so and meanwhile she’s leaning out the screen door like “steven move the bin out of the way of the mailbox” “okay” “that’s a federal offense you know” “i know you tell me every time i’m here”
There’s 6 cars up on blocks in the backyard and every spring she trims the lilac hedges with a sword. (projectormom’s excellent Pearl headcanon)

Here’s to straightforward socks for Army General Mom. Relax into the simple ribbed pattern as you orchestrate your own rebellion.

Each pattern is fully charted and contains a written schematic for your convenience. All patterns are professionally tech-edited.

Stitch Counts and Yardage (per pair)
Child Small: 48 sts around, 200yd.
Child Large: 56 sts around, 300yd.
Adult Small: 64 sts around, 400 yd.
Adult Large: 72 sts around, 550 yd.