From the letter
My Darling girl, scarves no matter how beautiful are dangerous to babies, they can choke so easy on them . But babies are miserable when you bundle them up so much they cannot move. The also hate things pulled over their heads. Finnibar was the worst, until he was perhaps four he would say things choked him, Murphy hated clothes period trying to get clothes on that boy was a war. This brings me to my probably most heartfelt advice. Choose your battles. There will be battles is is part of the parent/child relationship. But chose which ones are worth fighting. There will be those that although you feel like you want to protect and stop them, finding out on their own is the best lesson as sometimes the fall is the most important part of the lesson. And then there are the ones where you have that feeling of the hair rising on the back of your neck and those you jump in both feet. With all of you I learned there were time I risked hearing the words that cut a mother to the quick ” I hate you”, but being parent often times means being disliked. Keeping them safe is worth the pain. Draw red lines, one they know are uncross-able, let them always know your rules, and reward them for following them.

There is an alternate chart for little boys