“I was wild until I was tamed by shame. Until I started hiding and numbing my feelings for fear of being too much. Until I started deferring to others’ advice instead of trusting my own intuition. Until I became convinced that my imagination was ridiculous and my desires were selfish. Until I surrendered myself to the cages of others’ expectations, cultural mandates, and institutional allegiances. Until I buried who I was in order to become what I should be. I lost myself when I learned how to please.”
― Glennon Doyle, Untamed

This newest crochet design arose from a year of learning to live my life untamed. After listening to Glennon Doyle’s bestselling book “Untamed” the minute it was released (and several times since then), I’ve spent the majority of this past year practicing loving myself just as I am. This means learning and accepting that I am whole and worthy as is, letting go of the expectations of others and of myself that no longer serve me for who I am and want to be, accepting that practicing self-care and self-love is not selfish but essential, teaching my children by being a model and not a martyr, and honoring that it is ok, appropriate, even critical to disappoint everyone else in the world before disappointing yourself when it allows you to be your truest self.

The stitches from this design came from the idea of loving oneself, but when a dear friend of mine suggested that the design reminded her of tulips, I immediately “googled” what tulips are meant to represent. When I discovered they are said to represent “perfect love”, it seemed to be a sign. After a year of focusing (and often times failing) on creating a perfect love for myself and others, I’m not sure that I believe any love is “perfect” without work. It all takes work a lot of it at times. I do believe, however, that the truest form of love can only come when a person learns to trust themselves AND honor others who are doing the same. I’ve accepted that in order to truly share your love with others, you must love and honor yourself first. I’m incredibly proud of this design. Here’s to living UNTAMED.

“I am here to keep becoming truer, more beautiful versions of myself again and again forever. To be alive is to be in a perpetual state of revolution. Whether I like it or not, pain is the fuel of revolution. Everything I need to become the woman I’m meant to be next is inside my feelings of now. Life is alchemy, and emotions are the fire that turns me to gold. I will continue to become only if I resist extinguishing myself a million times a day. If I can sit in the fire of my own feelings, I will keep becoming.”
― Glennon Doyle, Untamed

Materials needed:

• U.S. G (4.5 mm) crochet hook
• Sew Happy Jane Delightful DK (3). Plum Dandy (pattern without brim) and Forest (pattern with folded brim) used in pattern pictures. 100% Superfine Superwash Merino - 231 yards per skein (100g). Sew Happy Jane
• Amounts required with no brim XS – 145 yards (1 skein), S –180 yards (1 skein), M – 215 yards (1 skein), L – 255 yards (2 skeins), XL – 275 yards (2 skeins).
• Amounts required to add folded brim XS – 190 yards (1 skein), S –228 yards (1 skein), M – 270 yards (2 skein), L – 310 yards (2 skeins,) XL – 336 yards (2 skeins).
• Tapestry needle
• Stitch marker (optional)

Gauge: 4”x4” square = 16 sts x 15 rows HDC

Sizes:

• XS (baby) - approx. 14-16” head circumference
• S (toddler) - approx. 16 -18” head circumference
• M (youth) - approx. 18 -20” head circumference
• L (tween/adult) - approx. 20 -22” head circumference
• XL (adult) - approx. 22 -24” head circumference