Hello, and welcome to GnomeWatch.

Here at GnomeWatch we are dedicated to ensuring your safety in the presence of—while not malign, still really nosy and rather irritating—gnomes. Gnomes are (mostly) harmless and (mostly) well-meaning, but there is just something about, say, an open tub of cinnamon butter that your average gnome can not resist having a tread through. Yes, that’s where those greasy, cinnamon-scented footprints came from. It’s not their fault—they were born this way! When not trotting through condiments gnomes can usually be found hanging out under a nice leafy clump of hostas in the garden. You’ve been warned.