…….which didn´t catch me a single dream so far, except nightmares! I´ve been investigating all possible reasons for this excellent misconstruction, but couldn´t come up with any wisdom concerning the mode of non-operation of this strange dadaistic fashion masterpiece. Maybe the profound primary cause, why this non working unbearable wearable has to be classified as a top failure in knitting history, could be located in the totally inappropriate size of chosen stiches, which I would rather label as gaps or the absence of stitches, which implements extraordinary artistic skills in a quite peculiar way, not very pretty but rare - & of course, absolutely perfect for the few Austrian summer hours - much ventilation & non transpiration & even total lack of inspiration as well, since the odd choice of stitches for this useless bolero-wanna-be prevents this outstanding model from providing you with a single advantage, if you actually decide to drag it out of your closet or wherever you happen to store nonsense like that, well, it doesn´t warm you, neither the opposite, it´s not practicable at all, as a matter of fact, it´s a real lady killer, which doesn´t bother me though, I´m no lady anyways, at least I prefer not be one, when I try to give my dream-catcher a revival, but if I was a lady, let´s just pretend, I would certainly get stuck on each and every door knob in the entire universe & at least on the first one to pass by, no need to spread out into cosmis spheres with a haute couture dream catcher on!
You hope this is the end of the tragedy? Well no, not at all, what did you expect?! I´m a person of epic dimensions, so if you ever luckily make it from your closet to the dining room, there is an other slapstick scene waiting for you right there & then: I promise, you will knock off the perfectly set dishes on my dinner table or even yours if you ever dare inviting me in my dream catcher over, oh mei - forget showing up at a dinner party for the rest of your life, it would be a desaster, I just envision wiping off a whole batallion of champagne flutes with or without content, - that´s not the point here in this scientific studies - & after the champagne bar is cleared you might as well set yourself on fire on the pretty candleholders, which illuminated the caviar finger food (to keep you from biting off your finger instead of the delicious appetizers) as an exciting additionalmega embarrasing fashion-comedian top event if you long to make it into the headlines of your local newspaper the next day!

Well back to decent matters anyway, sorry, I drifted off a little, as I mentioned earlier right here in this nice brief note, my dream catcher is not even capable of catching me compelling colourful dreams, which really bugs me, I can tell. All the efforts totally in vain!
As I´m trying to track the entire problem down with your help,….. it just hit me…… maybe I should wear the darn thing as a pyjama? How should a dream catcher catch a single dream if I wear it during the day to impress my neighbors & clients, can´t work out, problem noticed, problem solved, but not quite: Help, I hate pyjamas!
But, as a little side effect, since the bolero has epic dimensions too, it might as well serve me as my private very special world wide web to catch some daydreams with, maybe it brings me the vision of donating this tragic failure to an italian fisherman to catch me some nice fish for my next mediterranian meal with its help, the colour scheme is almost perfect for this act of humanity, only the green is missing, but I could offer him one of my green bangles as well………