Preview: Pictures & story of the most beautiful failure in knitting history are coming up soon,…….trust me, the event already happened to me, I survived this one… & many more failures will turn out to be beauty-queens, such is creative life, never give up, be faithful…..

Movie: You want to hear the most incredible, utterly embarrassing & intoxicating fashion comedian-drama of a supertopfailure in knitting history & yet the prettiest disaster ever encountered in the same department? I´m even trying to prove that this topdesaster might become a beauty queen in its afterlife, I just got to choose the right contest to enter it, I´m taking a rosegarden-contest into closer consideration, if such a thing exists, if not, I might proclaim one right here & now, no doubt about the fact, that my knitted rosegarden will knock out every juror being able to separate a knitting needle from a crochet hook, which is much more than I´m able to accomplish, yeah, well that´s an entirely different story, don´t know yet which one this might be, but don´t worry, I´ll come up with one much sooner as you can knit a sock for your goldfish, which is pretty easy & going real fast, you just got to produce a tiny little sockish kind of wrapping for its tail fin, I hope you keep a little exponent of this species, I do, I mean, I don´t, my apartment is too small as you know & totally messed up with clothes, scarves, belts & stuff for my neverending catwalking mission. But my twin sister calls a goldfish her own, which doesn´t make any sense at all, since she doesn´t even exist & if she existed, behold, she would be an awfully bad knitter, almost as bad as I am, I´m gonna prove this in a hell of a story real soon, so hang on!
You don´t want to hear this story? Doesn´t help much, I´m gonna tell it anyway, you know, I´m like a Toyota, with skillfully misconstructed breaks it´s a little hard to stop, even if you see the wall or the tree right in front of you, so here we go:
Once upon a time, - as a matter of fact, not such a very long time ago as it is generally presumed in fairy tales & compared to my specific age, which has it´s origin in the fact that this is no fairy tale at all, just in case you are anticipating some sweet stuff like in The Grimm Brothers´ horror visions, we are talking about true life & tragedies here, I do, you don´t, you are just sitting in front of your computer & enjoying my failures or failure-wannabes, so once upon a time I came across a bunch of lousy yarn cones in absolutely stunning colours, white & brown for instance, probably left overs from a bancrupt knitting manufactory, no surprise considering the colour spectrum, well, I bought the crap for 1 € a piece, which is a very interesting information at this point, but I keep no secrets at all & some of you might be interested in such details. By the way, you can see the cones as props on my amateurishy set up stage & more significant, the masterpieces How many scarves does a lady need&how long should they be? & the totally ridiculous I´m not Leonarda daVinci either, but I´m definitely the better knitter! are first results of this fleemarket bargain & you better ignore them!
Just in case you wonder, you are right, this has got nothing to do with my rose garden, it´s got nothing to do with nothing, that´s just the kind of stories I fancy most myself & keep this in mind: I´m the author of all this nonsense!
Anyway, I got quite enthusiastic about knitting these strange leaf-shaped-endless-scarves & was thinking about upgrading the whole procedure, so I picked a heavy duty yarn suitable for real big sticks & started drumming. Unfortunately I messed up the scale a little & that´s about the whole story, believe me, but I know, you don´t, so what the hell, I´m carrying on here, making one up, due to my stand-up comedian training I never was lucky enough to run through!

So here we are, I fixed about a million of these pretty scarves in different dimensions in order to put hem somehow together, each one alone would be condemned to a boring lonely life, I said to myself, but not loud enough for my neighbors to hear me, they never listen to my smart single small talk anyway, so this is no problem whatsoever.

Back to the story! By the time I ensembled the scarves to my private rose garden, - that was the vision while dealing with the beautiful smooth green yarn in various nuances & the magenta-pinkish accents – I really felt like a car with no access to working breaks, just couldn´t talk myself into quitting the project, neither did my neighbors, but eventually the miraculous cloak was ready for the first public launch, at least I prentended so, because this was just the beginning of the tragedy. This creation turned out to be a cloak for my nonexistant twin sister, my non existant lover plus his whole family & simply the most unbearable unwearable in the whole wide wild world of knitting exaggerations & left me pretty desperate.
But every failure can light a spark, - my Waterloo-composition was evidently written in D-minor & initiated a fantastic unexpected follow up. I ripped off as many „leaves“ as I possibly could get hold of & at one point even decided to use the cloak as my secret lawn in my living room, but that was no smart choice either, I´ve got no lawn mower & what if the rose garden curse was going to grow & bloom …urgh…the darn thing got even bigger the more I reduced, call it hopeless!
As always in such desperate situations, when ghost stories become true, I grabbed my most favorite weapon, guess what? Yeah, my scissors, but not those of Edward Scissorhands, my own & ratzfatz as we german-speaking folks use to call this, cut he redundant material off, embroidered the edges in very skillfully manner (here they come, my fleemarket-bargain-cones in pink as can be) & completed the left over fallen leaves-scarves to a real scarf which will one day fullfill the promise I never made.

Maybe I never promised you a rose garden & if I did, I forgot, but take this beautiful scarf instead, I´m pretty sure even the roses there will flourish in your closet or wherever you keep it, since they are all visions of my heart!
The ultimate message is: never give up & embrace your failures, you might discover a blooming rosegarden!